Saylor

i want to cry... i dont fit in a size 3 jeans and i used to be a 1 or 0

kill me im serious... i want lipo

ahhh i drank last night (5 beers as if thaaats not bad enough) then went to wawa and ate a chicken salad hoagie!!! without purging fuuck

i looked at the calories just now though and its not AS bad as i expected.. it was 321, which isnt good but i was expecting it to be 500 something

wow i did terrible yesterday, i binged and purged on mcdonalds and popcorn

then this morning i looked at the scaled and gained 2 lbs from it... that obv means i need to fast today

even worse i have a fam. reunion tomorrow and it impossible to not eat at those

im fasting for as long as i can handle starting tomorrow... but tonight i give up im gonna eat as much as i can and purge my stomach out...im so weak sometimes

i feel gross... ate too much cals today annnd i just binged and purged which i hadnt done in like a week, i hate binging and purging because i feel like i keep way too many cals

today:

toast and jelly (i hate eating carbs but couldnt help myself) = 270

egg white (x2) = 30

pickle= 5

beef jerky nuggest (yummm) = 70

dark choc = 55

430... its only 3:30, uh oh lol i wasnt supposed to go above 400 all day

ok i just ate 2 pickles, 2 egg whites, and some sourkraut (which i recently discovered has like 3 cals) and feel REALLY FAT .. is that alot of food? because i didnt think it was now i feel gross.. okay lets think:

breakfast = oatmeal at 140
2 egg whites = 30
2 pickels = 10
saurkraut = 3 cals
2 shots = 120 i thiink ehhh

303 ...ugh okay the liquor keeps me from eating but is high cal itself

yeah soo speaking of shopping, I just went out and bought a bunch of clothes that are wayy too small haha... i figure if i put money on it then ill def lose the weight

i just want to be a zero NOW.. i hate the ugly truth that itll take at leaaast a month

get at me girls, talking is the best distraction... JKCO237

sooo ive been doing good with restricting.. the only problem is that to distract myself from eating ive been shopping ALOT lately... spending wayy too much money

so i ate a bowl of oatmeal this morning (140)
plans for the rest of the day:
light and fit yogurt (60)
pickles and egg whites

woo hoo... 300 today
best ive done in a whiiile

Im so happy, I feel like Im finally back on track... i hate food and Im SO glad i finally got into not eating it again haha

Im at zerooo cals sofar and im VERY happy about it... 100 lbs and skinny jeanns here i come

ok... one month left before school starts and Im JUST starting to lose weight...ugh my motivation to get stick thin are those new skinny straight leg jeans from Gap.. I want them. and skinny legs are so hot

im just mad at myself for gaining weight at schoool UGH

im proud of myself, i havent eaten yet todayy

its annoying though bc no matter how thin i get i still have a bubble but lol... which makes me really unproportionate w/o boobs.. ahhh i hate my body lol does anyone else have this problem?

ive never felt so fat.

i want the old me backk now... ugh it took me SO long to be that thin now i have to start all over.

im just glad i have the summer to work on it, then i can go back to school a skinny bitch like before.

oh man, im starting to become the most unhealthy person i know. first off, i drank vodka by myself last night, smoked about 4 cigs and tried to fall asleep... but no, of course i went downstairs, made perogies and a tuna sandwich, binged my ass off then purged. I HATE PURGING... it never gets everything outt, i need to have more control.

i guess ill start over today... sofar all i ate was watermelon and im gonna try to keep it that way

i ate. of course.

first i binged then barely got rid of anything, then i just ate a potato at dinner and some veggies... im never gonna be how i was before

question:

i recently started smoking marlboro reds, are those worse for your health than other cigs? might be a stupid question but thats what my friend told me...

also, (another stupid ques.) im on birth control now, does anyone else smoke while on bc? is that really bad too?

I wish I could reverse time one year. In one year I went from 100lbs to 120something lbs...

now i have to start all over which seems completely ridiculous. i suck.

Im starting a 3 day fast today